You don't ever want this type of comparison because you failed to try. He was 350+ pounds with 90% of his weight in his midsection. He never really cared about eating healthy. He loved local bodega (NYC versions of Mini Marts) processed pies, sugar-filled generic fruit punches, grape soda, and fast food. We had been together for over a decade and then they asked if I was his twin sister. This was a pivotal mind-shift and mind-fuck at the same time. You always hear people say, "If you're together long enough, you start to look alike." Really? Yes. I understand that idea now. I wanted it to work. I even overate, piling on mountains of pasta and fettuccine alfredo onto my plate as we sat in our Netflix and chill mode. I didn't think anything was wrong even when my family began to impress upon me that my food portions were equal in stature to his and it was unhealthy.
I often asked him if he would walk my dog in the early afternoon. One day, he was away visiting family and I was walking my dog. My neighbor came out and began to chat it up. "Hey!" she said. "Where is the big guy? He usually walks him. Is he your brother. You two look like twins." A horrifying "gasp" of a moment. "No," I said. "He's my boyfriend." She merrily continued conversing with me about how adorable my dog was and how wonderful it was that the "big guy" takes the time to walk him.
I was in a messed up head space after that comment. I sat on my sofa and turned on my iPad. I noticed he had been using it for Facebook and didn't log off. You know what happened next. I explored the inbox messages and honestly, this was nothing new to me. He was a serial cheater and I accepted the behavior even when we fought about it. As I scrolled through the messages and photos of all the women he was having conversations with, I realized they all had one thing in common, they were either my size or bigger (And I was carrying about 245+ pounds of weight wearing an 18/20) Now, that may work for them (or it may not) but even the weight I was carrying myself was becoming too much to carry and I knew I wanted to be my healthiest weight and size. I also knew that at that exact moment, I wasn't at that healthy place physically, mentally, or emotionally.
I felt as if I had nothing to show for investing over a decade of my time with him and I had suppressed the great woman in ME by not optimally caring for myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I had to be at a low place to constantly sit and eat large plates full of pasta just to spend time with someone hoping they still loved me. I had to begin changing this around. Here's how I did it....
1. I Needed To Be Alone.
I needed to feel alone. Be alone. Think alone. Process alone. And treat myself the way I wanted someone else to treat me but first I had to learn how to do that, alone.
2. I Needed To Reduce Stress And Speak My Truth.
There was so much mental and emotional stress in my life that was triggering much physical stress which is horrendous for the body and much more toxic for those with chronic conditions, like myself. So I focused on making a daily effort to ignore frustrating comments, statements, and even questions. I had to allow myself to be as authentic, real, and unapologetic about myself and my life as much as possible to build my self-esteem and empower that scared, timid, and broken inner fat girl. If I needed to be direct with someone instead of stifling my voice, they were going to feel it and understand the way I was feeling. I needed to express my truth the way others were free to express theirs reducing mental stress.
3. I Needed to Find A Quick-Fix Recipe.
I am NOT a fan of quick fix anything BUT here's what I mean by "Quick-Fix Recipe." I needed to take control and empower myself again and I knew that began with my body. I needed a tangible quick-fix that would provide instant energy and make me feel in control, like I was on the right track, and would act as a spring board for my new life, new mindset, and new body that I was building. Juicing was that spring board and it's nutrient-dense quick fix was exactly what I needed to begin. I found juicing recipes and stuck with one until I mastered the recipe and could vary it with other ingredients before I moved onto another recipe.
No one controls your destiny but you. Not your romantic relationships. Not your friends. Not even your family. YOU are the "It" factor in shaping up your fit life. You don't want to be in a position where you hear yourself saying "I swear I'm not his twin. He's my boyfriend."
*Also, there are less than 3 DAYS LEFT before the "Rock Your 2017 Fit Goals" Free Video Course goes away. Get a head start on your 2017 fit goals by shifting your mindset and taking action now. We will dive into all of that and more in the free video course so push the button below now.
Eat Like A Champ, Move Like A Wolf, And Live Like A Yogi.
-Angela L. Montanez